at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
