I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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