I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
