Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
