but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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