What did we do last night that was yellow?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
