Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize