dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
