Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
