There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
