You really coming over, don't trick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
