If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
