I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
