i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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