I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
high people should be assigned attendants
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
