youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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