i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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