Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
zippers are such a cool invention
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize