3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I looked at my own cervix.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
don't judge my taste in strippers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
