one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
