4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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