I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
