Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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