I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
40s are totally the cure
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
