I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
