wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
