pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
