oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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