dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
