The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Found the puke drawer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize