You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
