you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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