He had one of those small greek statue penises
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
