So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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