it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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