the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
wow bdsm is so cute
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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