I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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