he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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