I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize