Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
