just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
