i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
