walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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