Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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