Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Small penises have feelings too.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
