I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
50% drunk capacity currently
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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