its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
