I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
