its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize