hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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