i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
