check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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