I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
PANTIES FOUND
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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