Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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