fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
