I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
