I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
