i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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