ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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