Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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