I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
