I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize