We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
