There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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