i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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